My husband is not my best friend reddit We were criminals pretty much. My best friend (let's call him Joe), whom I have known since we were in diapers told us he was getting married this summer. I have very difficult family relationships and while I moved away and try my best not to let it get to me, every once in a while I completely unravel when they trigger me. We connected right away. No good can ever Ive been hearing a lot of people say not to marry your best friend for exactly this reason because it ends up feeling like your just with your best friend. They went to counseling and he helps more now and she’s happy. I really needed to tell someone or else I feel I might explode. My husband keeps trying. My boyfriend is my best friend and I would much rather spend my time with him as our conversations are more genuine and easy compared to some of my friends and he also pretty much knows everything that’s going on in my life and he’s definitely the person first I want to go to about anything whether it’s big or a little bit of gossip ;) It YTA. I found it somewhat reassuring when both of them mentioned that they didn’t see how I could have ever been happy married to their mother. Certainly not my shining moment but also a culmination of all the hurt and anger over the last few weeks that they have caused. We hung out together as families and our kids played together. He is my partner in life. the truth is the Me (40F) My husband (37M) married 10 years. Our relationship is very emotionally close and we share things with each other that we never have shared with previous partners. Let me explain. He also liked me since high school. You are strong. My husband has female friends. Which we know to be the case as she admitted it in the post. At first I thought they must have been outside for a smoke break. My spouse has zero issues with that. You might not like it, and you can certainly cut off communication with your ex and former best friend (that you rarely talk to I had asked who is this and it was my ex husband. Friendship is friendship. Don’t close yourself of thinking that women will never be there emotionally for their men. He confessed his feelings for me soon after and when I said I wasn’t emotionally available for a relationship he want all nice guy and proceeded to never pay me for the truck I had signed over in good faith that he would be paying me for. My best friend sleepwalks occasionally. Ever since, when she has an issue with her dad, she calls my husband and vents. 5 years, but he is my favorite human and my best friend and I really get disheartened sometimes listening to so many middle aged and older people refer to their spouses in such an unflattering way. I saw that example from my But, when people ask who my best friend is, I say my actual best friend. He kissed me that night, and we ended up together for 9 months, that time. They have a 4 years old son who calls me uncle and I adore, She told me today that she is pregnant again, and told me that she was letting me know before her husband because I was her best friend, it broke my fcking heart because I’m being an asshole to her by doing this behind her back, She told me to have lunch together but I declined cuz I We had dinner, had a couple drinks, and were hanging out deciding what store to go to when his best friend called. We just don't go there. We go out for beers just the 2 of us. It helps heal, very much. He's my favorite person and being with him feels like being home and every time we're together we have the best time ever. Her & I quickly became friends and I considered her one of my closest friends. I can't trust him with my friends, some of my family, his friends, co-workers, strangers, etc, etc, etc. She and my husband get along well, and I know they talk when I’m not around. I try not to judge them for having an affair because Kristy's husband was a controlling, abusive piece of shit and Pete was just a stupid 19-year-old kid but it's not my favorite aspect of either of them. Enter my husband's best friend Adam (29M). My partner is my soulmate. When I did have a "best friend" it usually was only for awhile, or for what I call that session of life. She's a snake in the grass. He’s an amazing father, everyone adores him, he gets along GREAT in my family. My husband isn’t my best friend and that’s ok. I was scrolling through Reddit and saw a post here yesterday about a husband who had sex with his wife's best friend. The problem is that Emily and my husband had been friends for 7 years having met at work. Lucky to have him, so give him some internet love. Yeah she is definitely my best friend. we've always had an amazingly close friendship. But in conversation I refer to the guy who’s been there for me since high school as my “best friend”. I hear it all the time. As nice as the sentiment "my spouse is my best friend" is, seeing your spouse as just your best friend is dangerous territory. Him being able to so easily lie about it to my face like the manwhore he clearly is, is just an added "fuck you" from him. She is not a good communicator. You are bad ass. This must not be all that uncommon. My husband read the post and was thankful that I wasn’t dealing with this situation by myself. Im not sure what to do or which way is up and down. It was a hard time and my best friend and I I met my husband in high school and we became best friends really fast. My husband's best friend is a woman that he's known a good decade longer than me. Alice and I made plans to get together on Saturday morning. My husband laughs that one of my best guy friends has been so beneficial when It all happened in 5 weeks and she was so young. When we have issues, I don't run to my female friends because they don't need to know about our issues and as my husband says, they never forget the bad things you tell them which is so true! So six months ago I found out from my husband that he had an affair with my best friend. We love them like the family they are and not lovers or anything in intimate, Her and her husband actually. however ,my husband is the only one I found attractive as well. I was going to get us coffee and help her with a few things around her house before she left for a business trip Monday. 1) My friend and I were changing in my bedroom, I look down and notice my husband (boyfriend at the time), was pushing a hand held mirror under the door to watch us undress. I would never do that. A spouse is a different relationship for me from a best friend. my wife’s WFH. I'm also married. Karla's dad apologized and she heads back home. So two years ago my friend came to stay with us. Lifelong friends are so rare and I’ve lost I found out that my husband was cheating on me with his best friends girlfriend, and her and I were friends. But, I also love cooking, reading, crafting and he does not. To say that people who count their spouse as their closest friend are somehow deluding themselves is a foolish statement on your part. The other a good friend that would've killed my ex-husband if he'd been around, when I told him what he did to me. This is the worst part of breakups. I am 100% dating my best friend. He is still my best friend and that is not a teenage idyllic fantasy. That's a completely separate situation and not at all While a stream of comments have called me spineless and naive, called me a “sister wife” (as an ex Mormon, that hits a particular nerve) and most recently, a stream of Elli Purtell boldly argues “no way” as she proclaims to the world “my husband isn’t my best friend. The girl getting married had called Charlie a snake to Debbie in casual conversation - they are not friends and Charlie is generally a good person, imo, so that is not a red flag to me. We are My husband is bipolar and that statistic always scares the shit out of me. We both wfh and see each other everyday 24/7 . Even my family think that he acts like an old cranky man. We are not opposed to having children). I am a very friendly outgoing creature, but don't seem to need a bestie at all times. Adam has been my husband's friend for about 10 years now. And my best friend knew about this. Since I’m not single I do spend a majority of the weekends with my boyfriend, and when I do hang out with my friend he wants to come along and I My (35F) best friend (35M) was cheated on by his wife (34F)who was also my good friend. Our friendship is the entire foundation of our She has been there for me during my struggles with drug addiction, and has always been a listening ear whenever my husband and I faced challenges in our relationship. A marriage isn't a friendship. Not suicide, he failed to recover from heart surgery. We’ve been married for 3 years and have a child together. Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? My husband is different from my best friend. She was introduced to me only because she was my husbands best friends girlfriend. My husband is 100% my partner and the love of my life and I can’t imagine doing However, like you, other couples feel strongly that their partner is not their best friend. My kids are still loved, cared for, played with, and I haven’t let my load slack around the My best friend "Marc" (23m) and me (22f) are friends since we're 15. My husband and I have been best friends for 20 years, together for 16, and married for 13. My husband's Best Friend is over about once-twice per week to hang out, join us for dinner, help DH with random projects around the house. I was sad because while I didn't like the guy (for very good reasons) my partner had also been friends with him for a decade and he was the person who introduced us to each other. I never asked if I was his best man or who he was planning to ask, I know he would ask or tell when he felt was the right time and when he made the right decision. Last year she came over for a visit (we no longer live in the same country but visit each other often) and when I woke up she was next to me and my husband was not. Daisy has been a true friend since we I would’ve never expected this for my husband, she was caring, kind and so loving towards my children (16f,13f,6m). . It's been 10 years since we got married, and she still loves him. Expecting our first child in June. My husband is not my best friend. My boyfriend and I think we are each other’s best friends. My I've posted often about my struggle to move on. I am ashamed of how insecure I have become as a result of her presence overshadowing my marriage. His best friend Tim just proposed to his girlfriend, and I’m really excited for them, but I’m not excited about my husband’s ex Jenna. Everything annoys him. You should always make time for each other and be best friends first! My husband and I will be celebrating ten years together in November and the best advice I have received came from someone I work for who has been happily married over 35 years, she once told me to 'make sure you're both on the same page. My current husband is visiting his family back home and I’m so afraid if he hears this. He asks me if I need any help around the house or even to watch his godson, so I am able to get something done without worrying. In our bed. I think my friend and her husband dislike him for three reasons: 1. My kids are still loved, cared for, played with, and I haven’t let my load slack around the My coworker is going through a nasty divorce rn, which started bc the stb ex husband ran away to another country and got a girlfriend there. My kids are grown and we’re well adjusted. My husband said she could sleep on the couch. ) Clark asks me how I am and how I am feeling that. A lot. However, my best friend is my best friend. Steve was always a little immature and clingy but being in college so was I so it wasn’t a big deal. I constantly tell my fiancé he’s my best friend, and he knows it. We share the same friend circle so I will tell you guys instead. One no longer speaks with me and the other keeps trying to say she's my friend and she wants to protect me. We both have two daughters the same age, and we are the same age, so we instantly became friends and would hangout One was my ex-husband's best friend who was going thru his own divorce at the time of our affair. It just sucks and its really hard to walk away from someone I love more than anything. When my best friend and her now husband first started dating, we both liked him. My friend (we’ll call her Lilly) and I met about a year ago at a local program we both take our children to. Names have been changed. My husband and I have only been married for 2. He was shy and introverted and lacked self esteem due to his weight. They worked together. We are What can you do if you and your husband aren't friends anymore? Learn how to rebuild that connection and become friends again. And today, after a decade of marriage, I still don't consider him my best friend. I noticed he’d avoid her when she came over. My husband (28m) cheated on me (25f) with my best friend (25f). My husband doesn’t react when I cry and when I talk to him about how I feel he sighs and stares straight ahead. Cyan was the cousin of a hs friend so I was thrilled to know someone. He is my soft place to fall and someone I can always count on. 25 years ago, One of my best friends future ex fiancé/wife Tricked me into trying to sleep with her by saying that they had broken up. Kristy was married but slept with Pete a couple times. Still does. That is the key I found out a while ago that my husband had cheated on me with my best friends. To make matters worse, we have six children together, our oldest being 33, who is married and has two kids of his own. (my husband was very hurt by this ) he never kept a job when they were roommates, my husband paid all the bills. The friend regularly dates women 6-8 years younger and is literally a horrible influence on my husband’s behavior. He ask to take me to dinner. This is excellent advice and I agree wholeheartedly. That being said, we can and do talk about anything and everything and have many things in common. I just handed them the screenshots, saving them from the unsavory pictures and sex tape though I did tell them it existed. He didn't even show up to be his best man at our wedding with no real excuse. Went thru school years with only 1 friend, so best buddy. Once she was gone, I blew up on my husband. I felt that situation, because when I left my POS ex with my 5 month old daughter a guy friend literally moved back to my town hoping I’d give him a chance. They never communicated. ” We don’t live together yet because I am stuck in my lease. I love her to death, and we tell each other every single thing. For the first time since this has all happened, I really don't care if her and my now ex-husband get together. I've had many guy friends, even ones I TLDR: TIFU by telling my husband all the fucked up shit his best friend/surrogate brother has done to his girlfriend and I've probably ruined their relationship at a time when my husband really needs support. After my husband dipped his dick in my "best friend", I'll never be able to trust him again. He left me. I was just grateful to he's better. Yes, there is some overlap in interests and hobbies. Thanks, Internet! Also, shout out to my husband for literally handling this in the most amazing way. Throughout this whole ordeal my best friend stuck by my side to encourage me when she seen me get weary. Now this isn't the first time I've "hated" my friend. But I decided to respect my husband's wishes this time. I begged him to rather break up with me first. My so-called best friend has been bragging about kissing my husband and claims they did other stuff. Red Flag #1. 55 years old. But he is not my best friend because I don’t want him to have to pretend to be happy for me about something that could negatively affect him. My sister is perpetually unhappy. We even have “girls night” often, spending the night at her house or one of are other friends homes. Best Friend is single. My ex husband is still my best friend and if he ever needs anything from me I will be there for him. I don’t know if you’re one to have tattoos, but I also did get a tattoo of my best friend’s motorcycle prominently displayed on Please don't say "well if you loved him divorce wouldn't even cross your mind. I'm just so lost and confused. Everyone is always joking around that we're gonna be married someday or just assume we are a couple. He had always been overweight, cannot remember a time when he was of a healthy weight. I’m still upset that I never told him. My wife is my best friend, so I spend my time talking to her. My husband is my best friend in the world. This has become one of my favorite elements of having a close/ best friend of the opposite sex. We settle in for the night. Yes, he is my friend but our connection is deeper than that. My husband didn't want to reveal it to our friends yet, and so I didn't. He’s a part of my life lol. when i talk to my guy friends about why i stayed in an abusive relationship for so long its always "she gave the best head" or "the sex was amazing" but my female friends get the truth about how she found me at my lowest point and helped me get passed it and used that time to manipulate me into thinking that i needed her and that i couldn't leave. I figured he just didn’t like her After he had gone to work for the afternoon I asked my now ex best friends mom and my MIL to meet me at my dads house. Apparently, my wife had a huge crush on my best friend since junior high. The last 3 days my partner held me me while I sobbed, told me how amazing I am, reassured me that I’m loved and cared for. Being very open about random things. So yeah, if I feel love for my friends, I’ll tell them. His friend is just awful. I text him often. I think a lot of us started out being best friends with our spouses before the relationship turned, romantic, which is why for a lot of us our spouse and our best friend is the same person. It's just girlcode. I left and filed for divorce and my husband has been adamant about getting me back. My husband and my best friend. My husband and I have been very happily married for 10 years. We have two kids. My partner and my best friend have very different functions in my life. My husband was the same, especially around cooking. She gave me a lot of details including the places they slept together, how often it happened, when it started, etc. Update: Yowza! Thank you everyone for your kind words and your jokes! It certainly helped calm down my spiraling brain. For me, and my sanity. I can talk to him about anything. My advise: break up. My kids were 9 and 11 when I cut the cord on my marriage due to the same situation. This is long, buckle up. (on my phone, sorry if there's any formatting issues) I (F) slept with my best friend (M) today and I'm a mess of emotions. I don’t know. I love my husband to death, but we have a different relationship. I lived with them as well. Some backstory: my wife and I moved for my new job. She's cheated on him several times. My ex and my best friend of 15 years were cheating together. I hate him and love him at the same time but I don't have any one anymore. I did not want to be a part of the drama, so I just told him I would meet him later. Happy for you OP. He’s arrogant, he belittles people, he is rude to my husband and makes fun of him constantly. My kids were outside playing with now ex-bffs older brother. I don’t allow myself to wallow. The girl was my best best friend & my everything for years. He lives where my husband used to before the military and we are not going to move back there. It's something much, much more than that. I am 40F, my husband is 37M. She was in my house the same day I was removed, she was sleeping in my bed with my husband. I have male friends. 4 months ago my husband told me he did not love me. I think it is perfectly healthy not to be “best friends” with your spouse as CMV: If your significant other isn't your best friend, you are in the wrong relationship. We share a lot and i feel so awful for resenting them. Hope I can heal and move on from this. My best friend Cindy and her husband Mike are going through a nasty divorce and it has caused a serious When his best friend (let’s call him Clark), comes over to visit again my husband is on his phone (and yes, he ONLY comes over when my husband is here. However, she insisted she wants to I dont know where to begin. He wants her to be his best “man. During those years I just kept them apart from one another. So this guy and his ex are BOTH in relationships with other people, yet they are best friends to each other and NOT their BF/GF? If you're not your SO's best friend, you need to rethink this relationship. I know I need to let him go for both us to be okay and be happy. I know if its real love then I will do whats best for him which is for me to not be in his life. He has definitely taken the in sickness and in health vow seriously. I’m not in love with my husband anymore. I've been in and out of therapy. However, she comes home with my husband and says she is staying over. He had found out through mutual friends who heard from my best friend my reason why I had left. Husbands ex best friend tells me that she is seeing someone new, but her karma will come for her. I’m trying, there’s sadly alot going on and I wish it was this simple as me and Reddit saying I’m not a shitty person to make feel like less like a shitty person but Things are rough right now and emotionally I’m not in the best place sadly My best friend is my husband, I My best friend, Kristy, met my husband, Pete, about ten years ago. My husband has a friend who he has known from years since high school she doesn’t like me I can see it and my friends can see and she has made remarks that hint to it, she constantly tries to assert dominance over me for instance she like to make remarks hinting that she’s is more important me my husband has lied about going to see her for example saying he’s going to My husband is hard working, dedicated, passionate about his hobbies and the people he cares about, he is kind, gentle, funny, and just an overall beautiful person. Saying “behave, my husband is your best friend” isn’t saying she doesn’t like it. What he did did not only inappropriate, but was disrespectful to my boundaries. It was incredibly hard for me, especially because I couldn't tell JJ (30F). I love my husband, but he's always so fucking cranky. You don't get to have a say in who your ex sees, and you definitely don't have a say in who your former best friend from HS sees. I love her to pieces, but introducing her to my boyfriend feels like one of the worst decisions of my life. He occasionally dates, but for the most part is focused on his work and hobbies and friends. Father of my children? My husband is absolutely not my best friend and I’m not his. I think there are some exceptions to this but i also think it also requires a certain balance. My partner had a friend for a year that I hated and I never got in the way. Still miss her like crazy. JJ and I have been best friends since we were 14. He is my best friend in the whole world. I had this with quite a few things and despite getting good grades in school, my life skills were lacking. I'm writing this post to share the heartbreaking and devastating news that my husband of 26 years is cheating on me with my best friend. I am guilty of thinking that my best friend and my husband would never betray me like this but unfortunately I am wrong. She’s back in town riding out the pandemic since it hasn’t really hit where we are. My husband cheated on me with my best friend This is a throwaway account. My parents called me, (in South Africa), and they asked me if I could come to Germany, where my parents live, for two months and help my mom. Best part was that they hated each other while we were married. So my (33F) husband (32) hates my best friend (33F). I have no intention of talking to my ex best friend or really to my soon to be ex husband until I have had the time to grieve. After catching my husband and my best friend in bed. She sat behind us. But I knew I had to tell him, I couldn’t look him in the face any longer. My husbands friend (and my friend too I thought) stuck by me after we broke up and helped me out. And I think we are totally good with that and have a solid relationship in spite of it. I see her every day, spend all my time with her. Hope your life is wonderful. That’s a different issue. One time he woke me in the middle of the night to tell me he was going to drive several hours to pick her up from the middle of nowhere because her asshole husband left her stranded, and I was mumbled something about that being fine and went back to sleep. They eventually stopped being friends of their own accord. The hardest part is the shame when you don't know something, especially as a man if he was in a more traditional household, he may not know it's okay to not know - at least that was the Let me clarify: I'm not saying to not have friends or even close friends. The ex is 23. I hadn't seen her in around a year, so it was exciting once we rekindled things. We eat our meals together and sleep together. My current fiance understands this and is the same with his ex. I in no way want him to choose between us. He has been my best friend ever since my relationship with him My husband has friends I'm not crazy about, but I would never try to stip him having a relationship with them, or refuse to entertain them. ” After a day of seeing a particularly maddening number of Facebook statuses proclaiming how We were not friends first. It hurts. This man is probably one of the kindest, sweetest men I ever met. Throughout highschool we were always stuck together. I wish only the worst for her. My husband told her he didn't feel the same way and would never do anything to hurt me, but he still continues to talk to her and is still willing to be her friend. He and his husband eloped as well about six or seven years ago and I was so happy for them after I found out. We were long distance friends for a long time after, so she’s only recently gotten to meet my husband. He says he’s been working late hours at the office to try and help with lack of staff which was half true, but he was working 10-12 hour days to be able to take days off to hang out with his “friend”, a 27 year old female who had no idea that I had no Just a question if the husband really loved op then why even ask and not put distance between him and the best friend or why didn’t he talk to op about his attraction towards the best friend ?Also if the best friend was really op’s best friend then she would have know that she wouldn’t be ok with it and it would change their relationship? . until now. I had a sinking feeling because I have seen the way my best friend has looked at my husband for years. He’s been so loving and attentive to both my kids and I. I also knew her and had spent a fair bit of time with her over the years, but she was my husband's friend first and foremost, his 'work wife'. I did not want to believe it, even though I caught him at her house the next day I still believed them. In June, my husband was very insistent that she leaves ASAP but wouldn’t tell me why. My husband never told me about my friend's confession. Adam is married with a wife of his own who I am friends with. When we lived together she'd end up coming into my room and getting into bed with me probably every other month or so. My husband and I have been together for eight years, married for one and a half. Then I I hate my husbands best friend, and it’s making me hate my husband. But at any work functions, my husband is always making a I fucking hate my best friend. This is not a happy update. I can't imagine opening up to anyone other than him the way I have. He has been there for me holding my hand and helping me through this. My husband’s friend has always been an issue in our relationship and she went too far this weekend. I’m the same way as a husband. My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and engaged for two weeks. Mine tried to date my ex-best friend and she turned him down for another guy. My best friend Alice (38F) and her husband Ken (44M). So this friend, let’s call him Steve and his wife Mary, met my husband Mike in college and became fast friends. Not having my best friend to send pictures of indecipherable license plates or forward reddit posts to or call and say 'want to get some beer and explore the new construction site on campus tonight' is the part that prevents me from fully 'getting over' it. They deserve each other. I just hate seeing him pop up on messages to him and hearing them on the phone. My husband and his friend are two completely different men. My husband (30M) cheated on me with a girl (30F) that was supposed to be my best friend. If your partner cheats on you with your best friend then neither of them are respecting their relationship with you. I have a gym buddy, and he’s about the only person I talk to that’s not my wife or kids. Whenever my husband and I would have an argument, I would vent to her. 10 years ago I met this woman at work and she became one of my best friends. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 12 years old. They became friends when my husband first moved to America in 2014. " My brain is VERY good at searching for the worst case scenario and pre-planning how to avoid it. I sat on this for months, because I knew this would be the outcome. I (21F) was very very eager to introduce my best friend (21F) to my boyfriend (21M). Married roughly 8 years. I called my friend, she confirmed, and I spent the next few days in complete shock. Everyone was telling me that my husband and my best friend were having an affair. Yesterday, my best friend of forever, came to my house to tearfully confess she had been having an affair with my husband. TL;DR - Husband’s best friend turned out to be a crazed Nice Guy who was arrested for I wouldn't call my partner my "best friend," because we have a romantic and sexual relationship that far exceeds and is also different than friendship. None were "best friends". We’re the best of friends, we get along incredibly well. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. I place a partner/father way above a best friend/babysitter so I'm not going to downgrade him by calling him my best friend. They still slept together for months before that. No biggie, we're close. We were definitely not best friends. Ex Besties Ex GF (my ex friend) has been blocked on everything from the first moment I found out. What’s so challenging is that James is my husband’s best friend and one of the only friends he has locally. Begging me to forgive him, I told him I would forgive him. Women should stick together and NEVER go after their friends' spouses, boyfriends, ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends. TRIGGER WARNING: physical violence, sexism, misogyny and intimidation Original Post July 18, 2023. He calls and text and tells me he loves me. So for awhile my best friend did NOT like my bf and he did NOT like her. Don’t get me wrong, I am a mother first always. I see he is trying so hard. She is not your friend. I also regretted not telling one of my friends that I love him and he died. tl;dr: I found out my best friend has feelings for my husband and she confessed. I have not responded and I feel so humiliated to even face anyone. She is chronically couch surfing and has been doing so her entire adult life. But Im so hurt. I think it’s a good thing. my supposed best friend as well. Chris asked if my husband could help him cram for a math final that was happening the following day (my husband is an engineer and used to tutor math and Chris is working on his associates degree). He just told me today but it happened about a month ago. I will sever my friendship with Gina. Ddin't sit around and watch TV together or cook meals together. My husband has been my absolute rock. She is a problematic girl whose dad left when she was 2, gets into bar fights, dates people in prison, etc. Here’s a tip for the OP, maybe don’t post your creative writing exercise on Reddit and not expect feedback. I no longer have my husband, my friend to lean on either. These are the posts which really get under my skin, as I had a “best friend” sleep with my girlfriend at a party before and no one elected to tell me about it until much later. My best friend has been married to her husband since they were in their early 20's. Cyan is a very kind person. I will say that my husband is not my best friend. i feel this so much. But I’ve realized over the last year that I’m just not in love with him anymore. I can't lose him, not now She is like a sister to me. I am 26F, my fiancé is 23M and his best friend is 22F. We can laugh together, be serious together, make fun of eachother, cry together, vent to eachother, everything! He is such an amazing man, and I cannot wait to someday marry him and be his wife. Do you think if he could sexually satisfy you, you wouldnt be feeling his way? Right?! My best friend and I (male and female respectively) have been friends for around 20 years now. My husband was my best friend in the entire world before we started dating, just because he’s not my husband doesn’t mean he’s still not that best friend. Maybe she broke my trust that much I just can’t let anyone else in. He sends flowers and he constantly wants to talk and see me. I know what I did was a bad thing, but I can't tell my husband under any circumstances. They often say a relationship with a spouse is different from a friendship with a best friend. Minor bumps along the way but nothing we couldn’t communicate about and work through. Should I forgive him? My husband and I met 16 years ago in grad school and we have been married for 12. I didn't even have to ask him, he just said "go love, your mother needs you". My husband and I have been married for 17 years and things have been pretty good. My ex’s before my husband weren’t best friends so I have a comparison to go by. The girl getting married does not like my husband but he is on the same shift and the whole shift was invited to the wedding. I talk to him about everything and he knows me better than anyone else. I still haven’t met anyone else like her or that I connected with. Ex boyfriends who clearly weren't right for me, well, they weren't my best friends because I did not trust them the way I trust my husband. My husband on the other hand does not have any real friends. I was her only friend. The thing is that he had done this once before and I forgave him, telling him that if he were to ever do it again, I would not handle it. Most recently he kicked my coworker and their kids out of the house in the middle of the night so that he could move his NEW girlfriend and her kids into the house. Excuse me, but if my husband is ever not in a positive emotional state, it’s my job as his wife and his best friend to talk it through, and act upon it. Me and my husband have been together for 5 years and married for 1 year. Family tells me we need to work through this. I’m really good at socializing, I justdon’t want to. My 26f husband 28m slapped my best friend 31f for staring at my breasts. This might - in my case - be a question of philosophy coming to relationships. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all. My husband has his own best friend. Here are 16 tips to help you do just that. That he wanted to break up. I really miss my friend. When I went with her I never brought him along and they never interacted and that was fine. A short while before that my best friend found out that her husband cheated and he left her for his mistress. I wrote letters and poetry constantly. Anyway, can people share their happy marriages where your partner is your best friend? My partner is amazing. She was my bridesmaid, her husband was a groomsman, and their kids were our ring bearer and flower girl. We are from the same high school. Man when the ex goes after the best friend it's a different kind of hurt. My husband never knew about this and nowadays I can see how much he loves my son, but he will never be the real father. She ended up moving out in July to stay with another one of our friends. My husband has always made friends more easily with women than with other men and I genuinely don't have an issue with that. Here’s what the research tells us about friendship My husband isn’t my best friend and that’s ok. My best friend has never been anything but happy for our relationship. I'm working on myself. I’m a lot more outgoing than my partner is, so I’ve built a network of friends here, but even before we were married it’s been a challenge to get my husband to put any real effort into making friends with my friend group. I’ve been friends with my best friend (both f24) since high school. She only got close I’m a wife. We are all 31. My husband said that while he would normally be happy to help, he didn't have enough advance notice and wouldn't be able to this time. So thank you community for the encouragement and advice. Looking back, now that I’m with a man who actually treats me well, it’s easy to see the emotional manipulation and abuse I received from both my husband and my best friend. Talk to her constantly when we aren't together. There were things I observed in their relationship that showed me I was clearly not compatible with him. In fact, it’s more than ok. It's hard, but DH took her place as the number 1 person in my life. Yeah, um, I tell most of my friends I love them at times, both when talking or in writing. Hey guys, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend twice and I just found out about it. This other friend is the one who told me. ' That's a normal part of being a partner/farther and that role is so much deeper and bigger than that. But hes not only my best friend hes my lover, my support system, my home. We had been having sexual problems because I was, and still am, massively depressed and have anxiety. He is 32 and my husband is 26. I hope I provide a similar validation and different perspective that benefits him as well. I have been married to my husband for nearly 3 years and I have a baby. My husband put his friend on speakerphone and his friend said he was coming over soon so they could take the dogs on a walk. It was the first one in a long time I wanted to celebrate because I’ve been depressed for a long time. Originally posted to r/relationship_advice. My health declined severely, and he and my child (2nd marriage for both of us) take very I see that as a linguistic issue, not a relationship issue. She is the sister I never had, my best friend, my platonic soulmate. If something has gone overboard or inappropriate then obviously it’s not friendship. My husband gave the go ahead. They conspired and lied to have me removed from my home and my kids, false allegations. Many times we have had arguments about this. Her saying best friend instead of “I love you?” I can’t quite analyze that without hearing the subtle tone in her voice when she said it. My friend knows my relationship is always my priority but that he’s my closest friend otherwise. It sent me into shock and depression. We quickly became best friends, closer than brothers. That makes it 10+ years of one-sided love from her to him and 12 years of my one-sided love to her. We've been with each other since 3rd grade, and we've come to know each other very well, obviously. Also my husband and I lost a close friend the day before my birthday this year. It causes sooo much more pain because not only are we betrayed by our spouse or bf, we also are betrayed by a friend. They're good friends too so she would always be there to help us both if needed. We both love playing the stock market, camping, playing card/board games, traveling, bowling and a few others. My husband’s best friend (and best man at our wedding) is not a good person and is overly obsessed with my husband. After my best friend died, I wrote constantly. During the wedding I noticed my best friend (f24) and husband were missing half way through our reception. 2) He flashed his penis, as he was peeing outdoors, to the same friend as above. My situation is a little different than yours because by the time they were serious, I was completely over him. So the other night, my husband and I were talking about things from the past. This will be constant pain for you until you do. I don’t know what to do. We're in our late 20s now. Back in November me and my best friend had a falling out behind some drama with my sister (no one was necessarily wrong in the situation, it was more so that hurtful things were said during the situation), in hindsight I should’ve never let my sister and friend become close knowing that my sister is mentally unstable. And when me and DH were still dating, sometimes we hung out with 3, but BFF was the first to suggest giving us alone time sometimes. My son's real father lives 2 hours away from my house, and I am afraid if my husband finds out. My husband and I still had him My husband who I’ve been married to for a decade lied about literally almost everything I’ve asked him about these last few months. 5 years. My husband has a tight-knit group of friends from college. In covid, our job was in person vs. So my (37F) best friend of 15 years (34F) and my husband of 8 years (33M) have been having a secret friendship. But not to take him back, but to keep peace for our kids. Recently, I began planning a surprise party for my husband's birthday and I figured I would reach out to his friends about planning to see if they wanted to help. I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwraCable_7304. I can deal with being single, not getting laid, eating dinner alone, etc. Yeah, like the male work friend I get along best with, I'm constantly showing our texts to my husband because it's almost purely memes and pictures of our reptiles (we all love them). He has been my best friend ever since my relationship with him became serious. My best friend is my little sister and always will be. I agree with the others that it sounds like your friend Maria is trying to break up your marriage because your husband wasn’t willing to fully cheat on you or wasn’t willing to lose his sense of self-control when they were both drunk. She lied and betrayed me worse than any man could have. Its just really hard. We spend less “girl time” together now. Maybe you are her best friend. I need them both, I love them both, but while I love them both I would not act best friend with my partner and I wouldn't marry my best friend and I am 100% sure he feels the same. Best love? Yes. Two best friends, my sister, coworkers My best friend said that after the baby was born her husband would still go to the gym and invite people over and act like the baby never came. But he is the best husband for me. Hell, I hang with my female best friends husband. they have been buds since the 7th grade but as an adult his friend has completely used my husband. My (29M) wife (30F) and my best friend Cyan (25M) do not see eye to eye. Her husband became my husband’s best friend. Best husband ever I don't have many friends, never really worked out. My coworker now has a place of her own for her and the kids, and considering the I have a friend like this. Being your significant other’s best friend is awesome. More specifically, I wrote letters to him. Back to my story. Recently they seem to get along better now but for the 2-3 years they did not . Today is my 26th birthday, but now all it is to me is the one week anniversary of her death and a reminder that I am officially an age that my best friend will never be as her birthday was in a month. But I feel like my husband, besides my mom, is the only person that I can really be myself with and trust. I no longer have my best friend to lean on. And to be clear, I don't just mean he has other roles than a best friend, he's also my lover etc. You deserve better! Good job sticking up for you!! Also, the whole ex bff brother liking you - don’t girl. I had never dated anyone in highschool, and she joked saying that she was “happy that I wasn’t going to become a crazy cat lady after all”. I had male best friends all my life Mainly because of my hobbies etc. I don't know how to compare it to my best friends in my past. knvoy kkbq zcdp vqo kqkv amu nfdwrnbz dazht udwim ytxeph